Travels With Mike

Gimme two on the "Yo" in A.C.

by Mike Rank | August 12, 2002 This is my Atlantic City look. I rock. Buy books on Gambling and Debt Management! There was an article in the local paper recently detailing the problems that they've had in Atlantic City with elderly Asians from New York. They had discovered that for $25, you could take a day trip to Atlantic City that will include $20 in chips at a casino and a free trip to the buffet. They take the bus ride, cash in the chips, stuff up at the buffet, then just hang around all day until it's time to leave. Casino owners are furious. But there's little they can do since the buses are independently operated and benefit regardless of who signs up for the trips. While I've always been a big fan of the Great Wall and Godzilla, I can now say that I'm a big fan of the patience of our neighbors in the East. I could never imagine resisting that temptation. Be it a game of foozball in the work break room or guessing which elevator will open first, I'll have a wager on it. Even on the way to Atlantic City, we had placed side bets on how long it would take to get there. Some might call it an addiction. My co-workers and I prefer the term "Wager Enhanced". Pulling in around midnight, there was an eerie fog that shrouded the entire city. Driving down the strip is a bit depressing, like driving through any large city with the exception of the large neon signs that display the names of the casinos. Gambling is supposed to be entertaining and the glitz and glamour is the lubricant that helps to push in the suppository of defeat. They've missed the boat here, making the casinos little more than glorified hotels with slot machines and tables. At least the Indian Casino's in Connecticut have made politically incorrect gestures of sprucing up their casino's by giving you "Wampum Cards" to earn bonuses on slots and have clothed their janitors and valets in cowboy costumes. The only notable differences on the gaming floors of the casinos were the table dealers, who were primarily short, Asian women. Looking across the blackjack tables, I noticed that all of the tables were equipped with a booster step. These carpeted blocks were used to accommodate the pint-sized dealers who couldn't reach the table otherwise. I've seen casinos that place their pregnant dealers in the smoke-free sections to deal, but I would have never imagined that there were so many height challenged employees that the casino would have to go to such extremes to look out for them. Perhaps these are just women who missed their tour bus and used up their buffet vouchers. The Boardwalk is what is really notable about Atlantic City. It separates the casinos from the Jersey shore, providing a scenic way to stumble between casinos. Besides being a great hang out for the Asians during the day, it's littered with carnival type attractions to entertain all ages at night. It doesn't quite compare to the pirate ships and aquariums of Vegas, but it's nice in its own white trash kind of way. Grab a bucket of chicken, put on your cleanest wife beater and you've got yourself a night on the town. You can travel in style along the boardwalk on one of the "rickshaws", plastic carts that seat one to four people and are pushed by semi-brawny guys with heavy European accents. They'll charge you by the number of blocks you wish to travel, but they enjoy having you barter over the price, then tell them to "put a rush on it". Make a request that no one else passes you and watch them really hustle! As you cruise down the boardwalk, you pass all of the streets of Boardwalk; Marvin Gardens, Atlantic, Baltic, Mediterranean. I don't recall passing GO, but I assume we did so in reverse since I ended up dropping two hundred dollars at the next casino. While Atlantic City was less than thrilling, it was an important lesson that it's not where you gamble, but how long you do it. Trump Palace, for all of its glamour, gave me no love. A desperate $100 bet at 3 to 1 odds managed to set me straight. We headed across town to Harrah's for the cheap tables, which still took us for a loop and left me $100 in the hole after two hours. At the Indian Casino the next week, nine hours at the blackjack table left me $1500 richer. Looks like it's time for a vacation column.